What you desire you unconsciously fear

Whatever you desire you unconsciously fear


What is it that you desire?

“Whatever you desire, you unconsciously fear.

Whatever you experience, you unconsciously want.”1


Wait.. what?  The thing I desire the most is the thing I fear the most?   And what I’m experiencing now is what I actually want?  That can’t be true…  Can it?


This dilemma of desire vs fear comes up time and time again with my clients and in my own therapy.


Some part you (and me) is terrified of the thing that you desire the most.  That part of you will unconsciously sabotage you from achieving that desire.


What do you desire and what do you fear?

What does your heart desire?

For example, say you long to be in a relationship.  You desire this with all your heart.  Yet some part of you is absolutely terrified of getting your heart broken again. Depending on how strong that fear is, it may actually keep you out of relationship altogether.

Or perhaps you’re in a relationship that is no longer fulfilling.  You desire love and intimacy.  But something is keeping you in that loveless relationship.  And that ‘something’ is you.


What have you done in your life that stops you from experiencing the thing that you desire the most?


What have you done in the past that stops you from achieving this goal?


What are you hiding from yourself?

So what are you hiding from yourself?


In order to move forward, we need to bring our own negativity out into the open and reveal it to ourselves – bring it to consciousness.  We need to “own it”. 


Often the person we hide the negativity most from is ourselves.

However,  once you’ve brought this negativity to consciousness, you can no longer think of yourself as the unwilling victim.  You can no longer blame fate/God/Universe.


When you see how you hold yourself back, you can start to move forwards.   


Once your negative intent is brought to your consciousness and you start to ‘own’ it, we can work with your positive intent, your drive, your will, your power.


And that’s when things really start rocking for you.  That’s when you will know


 “I want this goal with all my heart. I have nothing to fear from it.” 2


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If you want to ask me what Counselling or somatic psychotherapy is all about, I offer a FREE 15 minute discovery session by phone for new clients.  





  1.  Paraphrase of Eva Pierrakos, Pathwork Lecture 195 “It is an important fact of human psychology that whatever people fear, they unconsciously want; that whatever they experience, they also unconsciously want”.  https://pathwork.org/wp-content/uploads/lectures/pdf/E195.PDF

2.  Eva Pierrakos Pathwork Guide Lecture No. 125 “The transition from the no current to the yes current”. https://pathwork.org/lectures/transition-from-the-no-current-to-the-yes-current/

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